If anybody could turn tragedy into farce, Donald Trump was the man for the job. In the wake of the terrorist atrocity in San Bernardino, Calif., he proposes banning all Muslims from entering the United States.
Poor border officials. It is hard enough for them to find Cuban cigars in luggage, now they will have to ask, “Do you have anything to declare, you know, like a religion?”
Absurd conversations are likely to abound. “I am a Sufi,” a visitor will say. And the border guard, not trained in comparative religions, will reply: “You’re a softie? Come right in and welcome to the United States!”
A woman in a head covering will be rejected and will protest the injustice: “But I am a traditional Roman Catholic nun.” To which the official will ask his pal, “Hey Joe! Are roaming Catholics on the list?”
It should be interesting. I suppose all bearded men will be kept out and escorted to a transit lounge for the religiously suspect, there to sing “Jesus loves you” in the hope of a visa.
But the people I wish America would keep out are the Canadians. They are too nice for our culture and spoil it for everybody. Just kidding. It’s only the rogue Canadians you have to watch out for.
Of course, I speak of Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Canada, who is no longer a Canadian but is still spoiling it for everybody. In response to calls for a ban on military-purposed assault rifles — the jihadist pair’s weapon of choice to wreak havoc in California — Mr. Cruz joined in the merry throng of fellow GOP presidential candidates to repudiate this idea.
His response was at least properly tragic in its own way. He affirms that America must relive the ever-recurring drama scripted by the NRA — first, mass slaughter, then congressional inaction. The only difference now is that the latest atrocity was clearly a terror attack so the debate about guns must also be about national security.
To that end, Mr. Cruz said, “This nation needs a wartime president.”
Where have we heard that before? Ah, yes, in the previous administration, and if memory serves it didn’t work out so well.
In a nice touch, Mr. Cruz appeared at an Iowa shooting range to affirm an absolutist reading of the Second Amendment and poke a metaphorical stick in the eyes of the victims’ families. What keeps us safe, he said, “is that we are free people who have a God-given right to protect our homes and our families and our lives.”
Poor God. Why drag Him into this? He is not the one using guns to murder innocents — or allowing the most powerful guns to be so freely available for that purpose. What god is this anyway? The one whose son told his disciple to put away his sword prior to the crucifixion?
As for people using guns to protect themselves, this supposes that the average person if armed could shoot someone easily.
No, taking life is not the first instinct of most civilized people, especially when frightened.
That’s why drill sergeants yell at recruits in military boot camps — it’s not to prepare them for married life later but to overcome their civilized inhibitions so that they are able to function in a firefight.
With few exceptions, the truth is that killing bad people is a job for trained professionals. Anybody like Mr. Cruz who says different hasn’t been yelled at by a sergeant enough or at all. In fairness, maybe his backbone was stiffened by one of his Ivy League professors frowning at him once.
There’s a problem with politicians promoting a new war on terror while reaffirming unfettered gun ownership at home.
These two notions are in direct conflict. The California terrorists bought their assault rifles legally, which is crazy.
A possible terrorist on the no-fly list can also buy a gun legally, which is nuts.
What about the Second Amendment? We should follow it, remembering what it actually says: “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”
However the word militia is interpreted, it is clear that the right being discussed should be well regulated. So regulate it well, already. Ban military-style assault weapons. Make appearance on no-fly lists apply to no-gun lists — with a right of appeal, of course.
Do it for the security of a free state — a rational one, despite what Donald Trump suggests.
Reg Henry: rhenry@post-gazette.com
First Published: December 9, 2015, 5:00 a.m.
