Where would you go to heal from a painful past? It is not surprising that the building that houses Pittsburgh Action Against Rape in the South Side was an old church, a sacred space then and now, which holds yoga classes, children’s play and art therapy, as well as rooms for adults to meet with counselors. “It’s unique,” said Lisa Kadlecik, PAAR’s executive assistant and development manager. “People don’t really know what to expect when they come here for help...and they are pleasantly surprised by what they see.”
PAAR is one of the oldest rape crisis centers in the country, having been born of the women’s movement 43 years ago. Started by Pittsburgh-based volunteers including lawyers, activists and healthcare professionals, the goal was for women of all walks of life to share their stories of abuse in a safe place. PAAR, a 501(c)3, is open 24-7 to work with survivors through every step, including going with them to the emergency room, providing legal advocacy and counseling. I sat down with executive director, Alison Hall, to learn more about the work being done to help survivors of rape and sexual abuse heal, while increasing prevention efforts in the community.
Why do you think “rape culture” still exists? The reality is, most men are not rapists, but do not have the tools to stand up with and for women. They don’t know what signs to look for when they see a predator because for the last 35 years, prevention was all geared toward women. (Cover your drink, don’t walk alone at night, stay in a group, etc.). The onus cannot be on women. Now we understand that men have to be a part of preventing rape, and encouraging them to get involved is the first step. These are their wives, girlfriends, sisters, friends, mothers and aunts. These women have names and places in their lives.
How does the influence of the media skew our views on rape? Counselors, like the wonderful ones we have here at PAAR, know that sex offenders are often charming and manipulative, not the shadowy strangers painted in television and books. In fact 70 percent of victims of sexual violence knew their rapist, and 90 percent of children who are assaulted knew their abuser. Rape is a crime of control, not of lust. The idea that we still blame the victim for what she was wearing, or how she was acting, is incredibly antiquated and just not accurate. Those committing crimes are our neighbors, our coaches, our celebrities; people in positions of power and control.
What has PAAR learned by serving survivors? It takes both men and women to end sexual violence. We need everyone included in on the conversation, which is why we now teach coaches and other men in positions of influence how to talk with boys and men and give them the tools they need to help and support women. We also have learned that men and boys do not speak up when they are victims of sexual abuse. Because of this, we have added a male counselor to our staff to make it easier to talk. We have also added a support group to encourage them to come forward in order to heal their pain.
What is a common misconception that people have about survivors of sexual abuse? It doesn’t just get better with time. Being a victim of rape or abuse is a very lonely place, especially for children. They just want the issue to stop, to go away, and often families are torn apart by these issues, making it even harder for children to speak up. But, victims do heal. They can and they do with help.
What is your dream for PAAR over the next 43 years? I want to see an end to this suffering and violence so that all of our efforts can be preventive.
Want to help? PAAR is always in need of clothing. When someone goes to the emergency room, their clothes are taken as evidence. Children’s books are always welcome. To learn more about PAAR, volunteer, or reach out for help visit: http://paar.net/ Together, #LetsMakeASEEN!
First Published: August 3, 2015, 4:00 a.m.