The standard was the standard. I’m not sure what it is these days.
Honestly, I’m confused.
I always thought — was told, in fact, a long time ago — that within Steelers headquarters, the definition of an acceptable season is one that ends with at least one playoff win.
For the sixth straight season, the Steelers will not win a playoff game. That hasn’t happened in more than 50 years.
The Steelers have missed the playoffs altogether three times in five years. Yet this year’s miss, in a league where 44% of the teams in each conference qualify for the playoffs, seems to be viewed among many as a triumph of sorts. I guess that’s because the Steelers beat a bunch of bad teams over the final nine games and continued Mike Tomlin’s streak of non-losing seasons.
Truth is, like most Steelers teams of recent vintage, this one found itself in the worst place you can be in professional sports: middle of the pack with no chance to win a championship. It made a nice late run, finishing 7-2, but so did a bunch of other teams.
Actually, a quarter of the league — from the Jaguars, Cowboys and Bills to the 49ers, Lions, Packers, Chiefs and Bengals — made similar runs.
It took the rest of the AFC’s wild card contenders to lose nearly every game over the final several weeks to even give the Steelers hope.
Still, I agreed with Bill Cowher on the CBS postgame show, when he said, “There is a lot to build on.” There is — particularly the young guys on offense. And that starts with quarterback Kenny Pickett, of whom CBS’ Phil Simms said, “I saw enough to know he is a franchise quarterback.”
But Cowher also spoke the truth about this season — which is always the one the Steelers play for — when he said, “Bottom line is games matter early in the season. For the Pittsburgh Steelers, they can go back and think about some of those games they lost early.”
Indeed. So pardon me if I’m not overly impressed that the highest-paid defense in the NFL beat Marcus Mariota, Matt Ryan, Sam Darnold, bad Derek Carr, Tyler Huntley, Andy Dalton and still-rusty Deshaun Watson down the stretch. I’m still wondering how they lost to Zach Wilson and Anthony Brown.
The bottom line is the Steelers failed to secure one of the AFC’s seven — SEVEN! — playoff spots. As such, they are left to lament the ones that got away.
To that end, I have devised a handy guide to all eight losses — ranking them in order from least painful to most. Or maybe from least winnable to most, or maybe just from least regretful to most.
You get the idea. And I’ll include a possible lesson learned.
See if you agree ...
8) Bills 38, Steelers 3: No regrets here. Felt like these teams could play 100 games in a row and the Bills would win 101 of them — including a playoff rematch, though feel free to delude yourself into believing the Steelers would have won the rematch. Lesson learned: Don’t give up a 98-yard touchdown pass on the third play.
7) Eagles 35, Steelers 13: See above. A.J. Brown torched the secondary for three first-half touchdown catches, which is three more than Diontae Johnson had all season. Lesson learned: If you’re going to sign a receiver to a big-money contract, be sure it includes directions to the end zone. (And Johnson was running backward again Sunday!)
6) Browns 29, Steelers 17: This one was low-key winnable, and the Steelers got jobbed by a ticky-tack ineligible man downfield penalty that wiped out a huge play. Still, Jacoby Brissett shredded them, going 21 for 31 for 220 yards, two TDs, no picks and 109.6 rating. Lesson learned: Never make a backup quarterback look like Dan Marino. (And in a related matter, draft a shutdown corner.)
5) Bengals 37, Steelers 30: Also low-key winnable. It was a four-point affair with five minutes left, but the Steelers kept getting burned on the exact same play to Samaje Perine, who kept running all the way to the end zone. Also, Joe Burrow’s pretty good. Lesson learned: Don’t get beaten on the same play three times.
4) Dolphins 16, Steelers 10: This is where the regrets begin, and for tie-breaking purposes, this might have been the result you’d most want to reverse. But the Steelers kept dropping interceptions — and throwing them — and that’s never a good recipe. Lesson learned: Accept gifts from the opposing quarterback.
3) Patriots 17, Steelers 14: I think of three plays: Gunner’s dropped punt, Ahkello Witherspoon’s dropped interception (which was caught and turned into a late-half TD for the Patriots) and Cam Sutton’s late dropped interception. Lesson learned: CATCH THE BALL!
2) Ravens 16, Steelers 14: This loss carried the kinds of regrets that will leave a man guzzling Old Grand-Dad. Yes, I know, Mitch Trubisky kept throwing the ball to the Ravens, but when the other team is reduced to using a practice-squad quarterback and every single person on Earth knows they are going to run, stop them. Lesson learned: When the other team is reduced to using a practice-squad quarterback and every single person on Earth knows they are going to run, stop them.
1) Jets 24, Steelers 20: Someday, ages and ages hence, the Steelers’ current crop of defenders will have to live with the fact that they gave up a 10-point, fourth-quarter lead at home to the 21st Century version of Ryan Leaf, otherwise known as Zach Wilson.
Are you kidding me? I realize T.J. Watt was out. So what? Within weeks of this ridiculous win, Wilson would be reduced to a third-string scrub, forced to watch his teammates wear T-shirts picturing his backup, Mike White (no relation to the famous Post-Gazette sportswriter) on the team plane.
Yes, it’s true, the Steelers were leading Zach Wilson 20-10 well into the fourth quarter and turned him into Tim Tebow in a playoff game, giving up two touchdown drives worth 21 plays and 146 yards. Just an absolute disgrace. Lesson learned: Watt or no Watt, never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever lose a 10-point fourth-quarter lead at home to Zach Bleepin’ Wilson.
The early games count, too, you know.
Joe Starkey: jstarkey@post-gazette.com and Twitter @joestarkey1. Joe Starkey can be heard on the “Cook and Joe” show weekdays from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. on 93.7 The Fan.
First Published: January 8, 2023, 10:34 p.m.
