It’s hard to hate somebody when you know somebody.
Those aren’t my words. They are Stacey Pressman’s. Unspeakable hate erupted a block from her home on the morning of Oct. 27, at the Tree of Life synagogue in Squirrel Hill.
Stacey was alone that morning. Her husband was away. She was at the Shadyside Whole Foods when she began to hear word of something terrible happening at Tree of Life. She grew panicky. She knew a lot of those people. Her daughters had gone to Hebrew school there.
Shai Maaravi, a 22-year-old freshman at Duquesne University, was headed toward Squirrel Hill at the very same time. Headed toward Stacey’s house, in fact. Shai came to know the Pressmans four years earlier, when they helped organize his very unusual hockey team’s trip from Israel to Pittsburgh.
Why unusual?
The team included Jewish kids, Arab Christians, Arab Muslims and others who would not normally mix. Over their time at a hockey school in Israel, however, and especially on trips like this, they came to learn just how hard it is to hate somebody when you know somebody.
Shai was an assistant coach with the team — and a huge Penguins fan. He fell in love with Pittsburgh at first sight. He can’t really say why. But he kept coming back and ultimately chose to follow his dreams here, joining Duquesne’s club team and pursuing a degree in business management.
The Pressmans became Shai’s second family. He eventually landed at Duquesne, where you can spot him fairly easily on the small Catholic school campus. He’s the one with the white hockey scar on his chin and the Star of David draped around his neck.
“I’m proud of my heritage, never hiding it,” Shai says. “And the spirit here at Duquesne really connects with my spirit as a Jewish person.”
Spirit’s the right word when you’re talking about Shai Maaravi. I don’t pretend to know him. We met for an hour. But I listened to his “Pittsburgh mom,” Stacey, describe him, and it squared with my observation.
I asked her what stood out about Shai.
“His heart, basically,” she said. “He loves his family, and he really wants to make a difference in this world. You can see that. I’ve never met anybody who has a stronger work ethic. For someone so young, he knows exactly what he wants and what he needs to do to get there.”
On the morning of Oct. 27, Shai wanted to know Stacey was OK. So he made sure of it. He met her at Whole Foods, accompanied her home and stayed. She was in “complete and total shock,” as she recalls, and even though her family did not belong to Tree of Life, she knew nine of the 11 victims by sight. Her daughter Emily wound up organizing the vigil near the site later that night.
“Shai — he was a very comforting presence,” Stacey said. “It’s nice to have somebody who’s been in the military. You feel slightly more protected. You just feel somebody understands — and one of the things that hit me most is that for Israelis, this is their existence. They wake up to bombings and stabbings and car rammings. He was very calm in the crisis. This is what they live through. It really opened my eyes.”
Indeed, though Shai’s childhood was mostly peaceful, he’d spent some harrowing days in his hometown of Katzrin — near the Syrian border — running to bomb shelters. Incredibly, he also discovered hockey in Israel, a country he says has only three rinks. He didn’t like soccer or basketball, so he was eager to try out this strange, new sport when a Russian man who worked with his mother invited him to try it.
“First time, I liked it,” Shai recalled. “Ice skates, hockey stick — not the usual stuff. Unique stuff. I became different. Through school, kids would say, ’Oh, he’s the guy who plays hockey.’ ”
Shai wound up graduating from an amazing place called the Canada-Israel Hockey School, which luckily was situated only 45 minutes from his home and was chronicled in a TSN documentary called “Neutral Zone.” He went to play for the Israeli national team (and still does).
One theme at the school to form teams of children from different backgrounds — Jews and Arabs — in hopes they come to find more similarities than differences and pave the way for improved relations.
The team Shai accompanied to Pittsburgh in 2015 was formed at the school. The Penguins hosted them. Shai’s life changed forever that week. This is where he wanted to be.
Fast forward four years, to this weekend. Shai felt called to help organize a puck-filled event called “Hockey is Stronger than Hate.”
In the first game, 7 p.m. Saturday, the Israel Selects will play Duquesne at the Alpha Ice Complex in Harmarville. Shai, a defenseman, will play half the game for each team. In the second game, 7:30 p.m. Sunday at UPMC Lemieux Sports Center in Cranberry, the Israelis will play Penguins alumni and friends, including ex-Penguins Tyler Kennedy and goaltender J.S. Aubin.
Former Steelers kicker Shaun Suisham also is expected to play. Ex-Steeler Brett Keisel, with an assist from Neil Walker, will coach that team. Former Penguins coach Michel Therrien will coach the Israeli team. Proceeds will go to The Edward and Rose Berman Hillel Jewish University Center of Pittsburgh — an organization involved with Jewish undergraduate students around the city.
“First, this is about not forgetting what happened (at Tree of Life),” Shai said. “There is a quote related to The Holocaust — ’Never Forget.’ This is also about standing in solidarity and pushing hate away from our life. We’re the next generation that has to stand up against hate and anti-semitism.”
Who better as a point man in that endeavor?
Joe Starkey: jstarkey@post-gazette.com and Twitter @joestarkey1. Joe Starkey can be heard on the “Cook and Joe” show weekdays from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. on 93.7 The Fan.
First Published: January 25, 2019, 1:43 a.m.