Much as with a newly uncorked bottle of wine, we’ve allowed the 2024 NFL schedule to breathe for a little while before we got around to analyzing it to death, but that’s enough of that.
The times, dates and matchups for the fall look a lot like the typical mix of hot anticipation and inexplicable hijinks, starting with one glaringly unanswered question, probably because no one appears to have asked:
What’s the NFL got against Tuesdays?
We’ve got Monday Night Football, we’ve got Thursday Night Football, and now I see we’ve got Friday Night Football, and yep, in December, there is Saturday Night Football, along with plenty of Sunday Night Football to follow up several metric tons of Sunday day football and a dollop of Thursday day football on Thanksgiving and Saturday day football, and don’t forget a very special Christmas Day edition of Wednesday day football right here in River City.
Wednesday!
See anything missing? Tuesday. What am I supposed to do on Tuesdays from September through December? I know; no one cares. But does the NFL really think no one will watch the product on Tuesday? So wrong. This league could put the Jaguars and Titans live on Animal Planet on a Tuesday night from Budapest, and it would dominate the time slot.
As was the case in its first 100-and-some seasons, there are no NFL games in Budapest in 2024, but the Eagles are in Brazil on Sept. 6 for a “home” game against the Packers. How could I make that up?
“The league’s decision to play this game in the first week of the 2024 season is a true testament to their confidence in our work as host city,” Sao Paulo Mayor Ricardo Nunes told Sportcal.com. “Having this historic spectacle on the eve of (Brazilian) Independence Day will spotlight our city as a globally relevant destination for the world’s most exciting sport and entertainment events.”
Yeah. And I think that was before the Eagles acquired Kenny Pickett.
The Giants and Panthers are playing in Munich, and the Jaguars, Bears, Jets, Vikings and Patriots have games in London, so overall, the 2024 schedule will put NFL showcases in three foreign countries, not including Texas.
As for the Steelers, they’ll spend the whole season stateside again, with a schedule that’s decidedly backloaded, not just in quality — the Eagles, Ravens and Chiefs all turn up in succession in December — but in quantity, as well: Mike Tomlin’s team will play six of its games, 35% of the schedule, after November.
Whatever problems that presents, it didn’t keep the Steelers from being one of four teams — with the Ravens, Bills, and Chiefs — scheduled to be on CBS at least eight times this season, most in the league.
That includes their Christmas Day appointment with Taylor Swift and the Kansas City Chiefs. Most people in these parts are acutely aware the Steelers have played on Christmas before, but this is the first time the NFL has gone well out of its way to match the black and gold with the turkey and mistletoe. The league has historically avoided Wednesday like the plague that is apparently Tuesday, but this time, it’s all in on a Christmas doubleheader that features the Texans and Ravens later that day.
It’s an odd look for a league that once moved its championship game to Monday afternoon because Christmas fell on a Sunday. That was in 1960, when the Eagles and Packers took a one-day delay before settling the NFL title because you don’t play football on Christmas. We’d sooner have the Eagles and Packers play in Brazil, which, again, is now Sept. 6 on Peacock.
Should you find this business of football on Christmas to be off-putting for spiritual reasons, all of it was foretold in the ancient biblical texts.
According to Mark then: “And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Goodell Augustus.”
Wait, that’s not it. Here it is.
According to Matthew: “When they saw the star, they rejoiced with exceeding great joy, and when they saw the young child with Mary, his mother, and fell down and worshipped him, and presented unto him gifts; gold, frankincense, myrrh and a Netflix subscription.”
Yes, you’ll need Netflix for that Christmas tilt with the defending world champions, but if you think you’re hacked off about that, imagine how Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker feels. In the same week that he was officially rebuked by the league for a controversial commencement speech at a Catholic college in Kansas, he got scheduled to kick off to the Steelers in the middle of the one of the holiest Days of Obligation.
On the upside, the Chiefs should be in town well before Midnight Mass at St. Mary of the Mount.
Gene Collier: gcollier@post-gazette.com and @genecollier on X
First Published: May 19, 2024, 9:30 a.m.
Updated: May 20, 2024, 4:10 p.m.
