My every waking moment this week has been consumed by a philosophical question. Are corporations people?

This mental debate is prompted by Mitt Romney, the first entirely plastic person to run as a Republican candidate for president. It was he who made a profound observation at the Iowa State Fair the other day.

Indeed, it is to the credit of the former Massachusetts governor that a profound observation was made at all, because insights at state fairs are usually limited to the likes of "Corn dogs are nutritious" or "Fried Oreos are not fattening" or "Whoa, bet that bull gets a lot of dates."

Mitt Romney was there having a to-and-fro with supporters and detractors, in a speech that was about taxes, deficits, Social Security and so on. When a heckler seemed to suggest that corporations should be taxed -- a profanity to some delicate ears, but, hey, at state fairs the language can be earthy -- Mr. Romney uttered his great insight:

"Corporations are people, my friend." Then he added: "Of course they are. Everything corporations earn ultimately goes to people. Where do you think it goes?"

In some whiny parts of the crowd, these remarks went over like a concrete blimp, and I must confess that in faraway Pittsburgh I was initially bothered by the news.

You see, I am a people (well, person) and what corporations earn hasn't noticeably gone to me. It is true that sometimes their earnings find their way into my retirement savings after the CEO and all the executives have extracted their millions of dollars for salary and bonuses, which is only fair.

But as soon as my investments rise, they go down again, making me think of the rising and falling of the tides, and, most cruelly, reminding me of the fishing I won't do when I can't afford to retire. (By the way, if you really hate this column, donations can be made in my name to the Retired Columnists Rest Home.)

But, darn it, I realize now that Mitt Romney is right. Corporations are people! His observation has made me reconsider my prejudices and now I just want to hug those corporate people. Unfortunately, I have been in the thrall of anti-corporate sentiment. You probably have too. Can't think why.

Yes, I can. Say the word "corporation" and what naturally comes to mind? Men and women in high towers, the men having their humanity throttled out of them by their neckties, the women hitting the glass ceiling, plonk, plonk, plonk.

We think of endless meetings, of business jargon and concepts that would make a kindergartner blush. We think of power-point presentations and everybody bored and nobody daring to say boo. We think of dress codes and human resources memos. We think of bureaucracy to rival the Ministry of Butt Covering in some old Soviet republic.

We think of a beehive, with all the worker bees buzzing about and the queen bee sitting pretty. Why, everything the hive does ultimately goes to people. Where do we think the honey goes? (Well, actually, I would have said somebody else's toast.) Yes, the large corporation is not the most cuddly entity, most of us would have naturally said.

Not anymore. I for one have heard Mitt Romney speak the profound observation. I say up with corporate people. I regret having my previously fond preoccupation with normal, flesh-and-blood human beings.

I repent of thinking ill of the Supreme Court in the Citizens United case when the court ruled that corporations are like people for campaign funding purposes. Selfishly, I feared that the whole political process would be taken over by suits, effectively cutting out the middle man (i.e., me).

I regret making fun of the gas drilling company, Range Resources, which has its headquarters in Texas but has been busy in the Marcellus Shale region of Western Pennsylvania. It promotes itself as MyRangeResources in ads telling the story of ordinary people -- not even wearing suits -- who have benefited from allowing drilling on their land.

I had thought that the whole promotion was skin crawling, but now I read MyRangeResources and I think: How cute is that for a gas drilling company? It makes me think of my daughter's My Little Pony when she was a mite.

If Mitt Romney doesn't become president, I hope his likeness is preserved in Madame Tussauds wax museum so corporations/people in the future can realize how dynamic he was as a candidate.

Corporations are people, yee haw! Or to put it more precisely, if I may, corporations are plastic people, friend.

First Published: August 17, 2011, 4:00 a.m.