I recommend that Congress authorize a special retirement package for President Donald Trump that goes above and beyond the current one. Specifically (to appease Mr. Trump’s penchant for real estate), I recommend he be given two special properties to live out the rest of his days: 1) a refurbished prison cell at Alcatraz, where he can relax privately on the island during the summers, living out an inevitable and upcoming prison sentence and 2) his very own bungalow in the country of North Korea during the winter, run by a leader whose personality and dictatorship aligns as close to Mr. Trump’s as any in the world. May he have a pleasant retirement.

STEVE BRODY
Upper St. Clair

First Published: January 8, 2021, 5:00 a.m.