Six weeks before he stabbed five people at the Turtle Creek Valley Mental Health Facility, Dustin Johnson talked about his fantasies of hurting others.
He told Heather Parrilla, who was his main therapist at the Munhall facility, that he didn't want his victims to die, and that instead, his goal was for them to "endure lifelong suffering."
He smiled as he described his thoughts, Ms. Parrilla said.
“I’ll never forget the twinkle in Dustin’s eye...” she said Tuesday at his sentencing hearing. “It was the first time I'd felt genuinely afraid of a client.”
Johnson was ordered by Allegheny County Common Pleas Judge Donna Jo McDaniel to serve 30 to 60 years in prison after he pleaded guilty but mentally ill in October to five counts of attempted homicide and related counts. That disposition does not change the type of punishment imposed, but does allow for the defendant to get mental health treatment in prison.
While she acknowledged that Johnson apologized for his actions and has focused on his faith, Judge McDaniel said that the statements she heard from the victims were among the most moving she'd heard in 33 years on the bench.
"You break my heart," she said. "I'm sorry this happened.
"I do hear from all of you a spirit to go on, to make your life better and put this horrific event behind you. Maybe we can make today the first day of your healing."
Judge McDaniel heard victim-impact statements from three of the women who were stabbed Nov. 11, 2016, when Johnson tried to carry out the fantasy he described to Ms. Parrilla.
Each of them described in graphic detail what they saw, felt and have had to cope with since then.
A former patient at the facility, who had to leave the program because of insurance issues, Johnson arrived that day carrying what turned out to be a BB gun in one hand and a knife in the other. He rounded up four staff members in the main office, and then stabbed three of them repeatedly.
Johnson then moved out of the office and stabbed another employee repeatedly in the neck and face before stabbing a patient in the throat who interceded and tried to help the victims.
The entire ordeal lasted about two hours and only ended when Johnson pointed the BB gun at officers and was shot by members of the SWAT team.
Ms. Parrilla, who was stabbed once in the back and repeatedly in the head, watched Johnson stab her supervisor, JoAnn Latshaw, twice in the back.
She believed she would die that day. Ms. Parrilla told Judge McDaniel that her wounds to her head were severely painful for several months, that she couldn't lay her head on a pillow or sleep.
She was diagnosed with a severe concussion and has had to combat persistent dizziness.
Worse, though, she said, is overcoming her post-traumatic stress disorder.
Ms. Parrilla said she has anxiety and panic and is always exhausted from constant hypervigilance. She has nightmares that Johnson has come back to kill her, and unexpected loud noises can send her to bed for the day.
"Just last month, I needed to leave a family Christmas party early, because a balloon popped and sent me into a panic," she said.
Samantha Green, who was stabbed in the throat, described her own reactions to what happened.
"Even though I'm told that I am safe now, I still have to convince myself of it," she said.
Every place she enters, Ms. Green said, she plans a route of escape — the store, church, even her home.
"I locate and count every window and door," she said. “I have to have a planned route of escape because horrible things happen when you mind your business and do normal things like work."
Ms. Green told Judge McDaniel she has been unable to return to work for fear of being attacked again.
Her relationships have suffered.
"Everything about me has changed."
Assistant District Attorney Melissa Hong-Barco read another statement by Ms. Latshaw, who said she was too traumatized to attend the sentencing.
She has both hearing and eye damage, nightmares and sleep apnea.
Ms. Latshaw wrote that she has trouble walking, falls often and can no longer do things with her grandchildren.
She previously worked in Turtle Creek Valley's mobile medication department, helping patients fill their pill boxes and giving injections.
Now, she needs help to get her own medication.
"It is frustrating to not be able to do those very things for myself now," she wrote.
Frances Bost, the executive director of the facility, told Judge McDaniel that she believes Johnson has made her staff and patients stronger.
"We continued to provide services that weekend and opened our doors on the next business day with every staff and patient coming to the building as scheduled," she said. "They came because they know we help individuals with mental illness reach their goals for recovery."
Ms. Bost said Johnson was a patient there for 80 days.
"He chose to hurt the people who helped him the most," she said.
Ms. Parrilla told Judge McDaniel that Johnson had specific targets that day.
"What he did was carefully planned," Ms. Parrilla said. "He knew what he was doing."
Still, she continued, "I want you to know you did not succeed. You threw a grenade into my life, but you did not ruin it. You put me through hell, but I am healing."
Ms. Parrilla told Johnson she had made great progress in two years and will continue to do so.
"Someday soon, I will continue my career in which I devote my time to helping people like you, with a better ability to relate to their pain," she said. "You made me stronger. The only life you ruined was your own."
Paula Reed Ward: pward@post-gazette.com, 412-263-2620 or on Twitter @PaulaReedWard.
First Published: January 15, 2019, 7:06 p.m.