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Just imagine Nathan Lane sitting across from Jerry Seinfeld in Monk's diner (initially Pete's Luncheonette). Or David Alan Grier or Steve Buscemi or Brad Hall or Larry Miller.
They were all considered for the role of Jerry's dyspeptic pal, George Costanza, won by Jason Alexander after he bought a pair of eyeglasses and did his best Woody Allen impersonation while advising Jerry about the signals from an out-of-towner who wanted to crash at his apartment. Seinfeld and Larry David, co-creators of "Seinfeld," saw Alexander and agreed, "That's the guy."
"Seinfeld" is the show people wanted to see on DVD, and now they can.
The first three seasons arrive on DVD today, and if you've been on the fence about getting a DVD player, this should nudge you over. Talk about coming a long way since an early test audience suggested, "You can't get too excited about two guys going to the Laundromat" and "Jerry's loser friend George is not a forceful character." Also: "Jerry needs a stronger supporting cast" and "Why are they interrupting the stand-up for these stupid stories?"
Because the stupid stories were funny? Although even Alexander had his doubts, telling Seinfeld early on, if "ALF" was one of the top shows in America, "Who's going to watch us? The audience for this show is me, and I don't watch TV."
"Seinfeld: Volume 1" (suggested retail price $49.95) has 18 episodes from seasons one and two, while "Seinfeld: Volume 2" ($49.95) has the 22 episodes from season three. If you're feeling as wealthy as, say, an heiress to the Oh Henry! candy bar fortune (or just comfortable enough to afford a few big salads), you might want to spring for the deluxe holiday gift set. It has both volumes, a limited-edition script, Monk's Diner salt and pepper shakers and collectible playing cards ($119.95).
It's been six years since "Seinfeld" went off the air, and while the DVDs aren't like inventing a cologne that smells like the beach or finding the perfect brown suede jacket that should never be worn in the snow or discovering some fabulous risotto, the discs are worth the wait. Since the show already airs a couple of times a day, the DVDs have to provide something more, and they do.
In addition to the full episodes (sometimes the "tag" or last bit is clipped in reruns) in high definition, the DVDs have commentaries, a few deleted scenes, bloopers, inside looks at selected episodes and a "Tonight Show" appearance by Seinfeld that he considers the most significant of his career, along with other standup comedy and a documentary detailing how it all began.
A feature called "Notes About Nothing" allows you to read trivia, some notable, some not, sprinkled across the bottom of the screen. It's like sitting next to Seinfeld or David, the model for George and now star of his own HBO show, and having them chat through an episode. The factoids cover everything from when Seinfeld was born and how he once earned $70 a week as a comedy-club emcee to a miniature history lesson about a brutal Soviet leader.
In the 1990 episode called "Male Unbonding" (the only title that didn't start with "The," as in "The Pony Remark" or "The Pez Dispenser") Jerry jokes, "I was 10. I would've been friends with Stalin if he had a ping-pong table." And then the notes provide a quickie lesson about Stalin, concluding that he was "one of history's deadliest tyrants." The best part about "Notes About Nothing" is that you can watch the episode as always and read the tidbits; that's not possible when you're watching shows with commentary, in which the chatter obscures the dialogue.
Most of the people buying or receiving the DVDs probably could recite the lines along with Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer. For a while there, it had looked as if Seinfeld's co-stars might not participate in the DVDs, but they struck a deal giving them a piece of this very rich pie.
As is often the case, the cast sounds as if they are watching home movies rather than TV episodes.
Richards spies the now-ancient computer on Jerry's desk and Julia Louis-Dreyfus regrets her once-unruly hair and oversize clothes -- "it's just painful." Alexander acknowledges he once had more hair and less heft, and "The Busboy" episode leads him to crack, "That was the beginning of the Latino community's love affair with the show."
That's a reference, of course, to the May 1998 episode called "The Puerto Rican Day" in which Kramer accidentally burns a flag. And Richards recalls being hurt that he didn't join the gang in the famous Chinese restaurant episode, but that was back when Kramer didn't leave his apartment.
"The Chinese Restaurant," told in real time, in which the hungry threesome waits impatiently for a table, puzzled and angered the network. One executive recalls, "Nothing happens ... I didn't get it." NBC allowed the episode to air, later than originally planned, and it became a fan favorite.
Although the rhythm of the earliest shows seems a little off (in "The Stakeout" commentary, Seinfeld quips, "That was really like a school play, wasn't it?"), the show remains as funny as or funnier than anything on TV today.
A little yada-yada culled from some of the extras:
Seinfeld and David were goofing on the goods in a Korean grocery when "Seinfeld" was born. They were talking about a possible show for NBC and making fun of products in the store. "It occurred to me, this is the kind of discussion you never hear on TV," David said. Seinfeld replied, "Yeah, that's a show." Turned out it was.
The earliest episodes were consigned to the summer, what NBC executives once called "Garbage Dump Theater."
NBC asked that the title of the show be changed from its original name, "The Seinfeld Chronicles." ABC already had a series called "The Marshall Chronicles," which lasted all of a month.
Larry David based the character of Alton Benes, Elaine's crusty father played by the late Lawrence Tierney, on now-deceased writer Richard Yates. David had been dating Yates' daughter, and her dad was "every bit as intimidating as Alton Benes," also an author.
It seemed the casting director got it right with Tierney, whom Louis-Dreyfus calls "a total nut job." Richards says the cast kept an eye on the actor, who stole one of the knives from the set of Jerry's kitchen. When confronted about the hardware, Tierney pulled it out and made a "Psycho" squealing sound.
And now you know why Elaine's father never appeared again.
First Published: November 23, 2004, 5:00 a.m.