A career in music, and the friends he made along the way, were Stephen Totter’s life.
“Stephen was truly a bon vivant — that’s the best description,” said Claudia Benack, who sang professionally in Pittsburgh opera with Mr. Totter and was his teaching colleague at Carnegie Mellon University. “A dear friend and bon vivant.”
Mr. Totter, 56, of Shadyside, died May 25 of complications from cellulitis.
His legacy as an instructor was underscored Saturday night, when one of his Pittsburgh CLO Academy of Musical Theater students, Tyler Hepler, thanked him at the 2019 Gene Kelly Awards. The Pine-Richland High School student was named outstanding male performer and will go on to a national competition.
Erin Quill, a New York actress and former classmate of Mr. Totter’s, said his family comprised not only friends but also his students at CLO Academy and CMU. “He loved to travel and see opera all over the world, but he made Pittsburgh his home,” said Ms. Quinn, whose child, Liam, is Mr. Totter’s godson.
Mr. Totter’s journey to Pittsburgh was circuitous. The son of an engineer, he grew up in the South before moving to Iran as a child. The family eventually settled in Alabama as well as Morgantown, W.Va.
Mr. Totter earned a degree in music at West Virginia University as a French horn player, and added a master’s degree from Duquesne University in the instrument.
“But singing was calling to him,” Ms. Benack said, explaining how Mr. Totter wound up achieving a master’s in voice at CMU. He was a baritone who joined CMU’s School of Music in 1995 as an adjunct professor.
He and partner Robert Eppinger became known around the city for their AIDS fundraising projects and the lavish events they threw. When Mr. Totter posted to Facebook in April a picture about an upcoming exhibition of “Downton Abbey” sets and costumes in Boston, a Facebook friend replied, “For a minute, I actually thought this was one of your dinner party table settings.”
After Mr. Eppinger’s death in 2009, even more joined the friends circle for parties, dinners and theater trips to New York City. On May 3, they celebrated his birthday at Morton’s, Downtown.
He also threw himself into learning how to skate.
“Bob had passed, and it was like he needed some new hobbies to figure out who he was by himself, and not as part of a couple,” Ms. Quill said.
At CMU, she was Joanne to his Harry in Stephen Sondheim’s “Company.” Ms. Quill said she remembers being struck by his sartorial style, that of an older grad student who was always well dressed; on those rare occasions when he wore jeans, they were pressed.
“If you were to say he was ‘old school’ [fashionable], it was more ‘old, old school,’ in the 1890s,” she added, laughing. “He would have been very much at home with the Rockefellers and the Carnegies.”
According to friends, Mr. Totter’s professional operatic debut was with the Opera Theater of Pittsburgh in “The Barber of Seville.” His roles in various vocal genres included musical theater, oratorio, recitals, symphony concerts as well as cabaret. He and Ms. Benack were often on stage together.
Beyond music, Mr. Totter was passionate about cooking. He was accomplished as a skater and doted on his tiny dog, Diva.
Spring is a busy time of year for music teachers, with so many high school musicals in the loop on top of the usual demands of other voice students. Ms. Benack said Mr. Totter was working five nights a week as well as on weekends, and he put aside concerns when his leg began to hurt.
Mr. Totter eventually ended up in the intensive care unit at West Penn Hospital May 11, posting about his arrival at 12:24 a.m. on Facebook.
“I don’t think even then Stephen thought it was a serious problem,” Ms. Quill said.
According to his wishes, Mr. Totter was cremated and his ashes will be interred next to Mr. Eppinger at Homewood Cemetery. A memorial service is planned for sometime this summer.
Maria Sciullo: msciullo@post-gazette.com or @MariaSciulloPG.
First Published: May 29, 2019, 1:47 p.m.
Updated: May 29, 2019, 1:56 p.m.