Q: My husband and I and our three kids live in Seattle. My parents live in Florida; my husband's parents live in Texas. We usually spend Thanksgiving with one family and Christmas with the other. This year, though, money's tight, and airfare would eat up the year's vacation budget. We want to stay home but are dreading the guilt trip we'll get.

A: Tell everyone it's too difficult for all of you to travel this year but they're welcome to visit you instead. You could even offer to help cover the cost -- four round-trip tickets are much cheaper than 10.

Q: I fly for business much more than my boss does. Recently, we were on the same flight, and I got upgraded to first class because of my frequent-flier status. The next day, he told everyone what a miserable time he had in a middle seat in the back of the plane while I was "living it up in first class." Clearly, he expected me to offer him my seat. Should I have?

A: If you fly a lot for your job, surely he's aware of it, and I can't understand how anyone would begrudge you the perks you've earned spending so much time on the road for your company.

Would switching with him have gotten you major brownie points? Maybe. It would be a very generous gesture to offer a first-class seat to a colleague stuck in coach. But anyone who acts as childish as your boss doesn't deserve such generosity.

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