To twist the opening lines of "Love Story," what can you say about a movie called "Nights in Rodanthe"?

That I loved the music, the Outer Banks beach house, Diane Lane's hair, Richard Gere's hair, the idea of reuniting the stars of "Unfaithful" and "The Cotton Club" ... but not the movie. It wants to be the love story equivalent of an ER doc who slices open the chest and massages the heart, but it barely pierces the skin.

"Nights" stars Lane as the mother of two and estranged wife of a cheating husband (Christopher Meloni) who decides he wants to come home. As he picks up their children for a trip to Orlando, he declares, "All I want now is a chance." He knows what he's lost and will do anything to get it back.

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'Nights in Rodanthe'

2 stars = Mediocre
Ratings explained

• Starring: Diane Lane, Richard Gere.
• Rating: PG-13 for some sensuality.
• Web site: 'Nights in Rodanthe'

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But Adrienne, reeling from this change of heart, had promised her best friend she would manage her Rodanthe inn for the weekend and needs time to think about a reconciliation. It turns out there is only one guest at the inn, a physician (Gere), who arrives with his own torments and questions about making amends.

As a hurricane approaches, the pair bond, bicker and eye the beds so conveniently surrounding them. Since this is based on a Nicholas Sparks novel, however, you can assume some monkey wrenches will be lobbed their way and maybe bounced off their heads.

Sparks wrote the books that inspired the teary romances "Message in a Bottle" and "A Walk to Remember," along with the best of the lot, 2004's "The Notebook." It was sappy but with heartfelt charms and an excellent cast that was impossible to resist. Now comes "Nights," and it's no "Notebook."

Lane and Gere have always had real screen chemistry, but they're forced to engage in phony-baloney spats and time-killers, as in a scene where they crank up the music, drink and toss out outdated food from the inn's pantry. Even with songs like "A Rockin' Good Way (to Mess Around and Fall in Love)" by Dinah Washington and Brooke Benton, it's like watching a taffy-pulling machine at the fair as someone tries to stretch for time.

It's refreshing to see a movie about adults in mid-life weighing choices they've made, weathering storms real and emotional, shouldering responsibilities they cannot shed and looking at the road ahead.

But despite all the tricks of Sparks and director George C. Wolfe (a Tony winner who also directed HBO's "Lackawanna Blues"), it left me unmoved and dry-eyed. On the all-important Kleenex scale, it earns zero tissue boxes.