The antipode of inspirational self-help books might be "When Bad Things Happen to Bad People." If filmed by the Coen brothers, it might be "Burn After Reading."

Not that everybody (or anybody) in the Coens' current entertaining entry is bad in the sense of "evil." They're just bad like "Seinfeld" characters -- self-absorbed schemers preoccupied with appearance, money and sex -- who can be counted on to make deliciously dumb decisions.

For openers, snarly CIA analyst Osborne Cox (John Malkovich) is fired for his chronic drinking problem. Osborne decides to spend his new leisure time writing his memoirs, while his ice-cold wife (Tilda Swinton) fumes and explores her divorce options. Next, a disk containing highly classified bits of Osborne's story is found on the floor of Hardbodies Fitness Center.

---

'Burn After Reading'

3 1/2 stars = Very good
Ratings explained

• Starring:Frances McDormand, George Clooney, John Malkovich, Brad Pitt.
• Rating: R for pervasive language, some sexual content and violence.
• Web site: burnafterreading.com/

---

The gym manager (Richard Jenkins), an ex-Orthodox priest with issues of his own, wants nothing to do with it, but two of his employees do: Linda Litzke (Frances McDormand) desperately needs money for the cosmetic-surgical makeover (liposuction, rhinoplasty, breast augmentation, multiple tucks) denied by her health insurance. She and her airhead fitness-fanatic colleague Chad (Brad Pitt) use the disk for a monumentally inept blackmail attempt.

Linda also gets involved with Harry (George Clooney), a lactose-and-shellfish-intolerant Casanova, who happens to be sleeping with Osborne's wife, among many other women for whom he trolls online.

There are a lot of busy bureaucrats -- none of them very sympathetic -- in this Department of Domestic Affairs' rampant infidelity section, which is the way writer-director Coen brothers Joel and Ethan perversely like it. After their grimly brilliant "Fargo" (1996) came the more jocular "The Big Lebowski" (1998). A decade later, after their Oscar-winning "No Country for Old Men" last year, comes "Burn After Reading," another lighter follow-up to a previous heavyweight -- with only a touch of bloodshed.

If the wacko script here is not so stunning as "Fargo's" or "Old Men's," the all-star ensemble cast is in equally rare collective form. In the Coens' previous comedy, "Intolerable Cruelty" (2003), Clooney played an all-fault (rather than no-fault) divorce lawyer, specializing in the disposition of marital assets. Here, as sexaholic Harry, he almost spoofs his "Syriana" Oscar role; the Coens are less interested in deconstructing than in self-destructing Harry.

The same could be said for Malkovich, who, as Osborne, turns in his best cranky performance since the self-parody in "Being John Malkovich" (1999). Also lampooning himself wonderfully is Pitt as the dimwit gym stud. J.K. Simmons is terrific as the clueless CIA director, as is the dominatrix Swinton. But McDormand steals the show, hilarious in her unlikely blond wig, prowling the 'Net date sites as well as the Russian embassy. She has all of Marge's daring in "Fargo," with no hint of her brain.

"Burn After Reading" is a savvy screwball sendup in melancholy mode, full of the Coens' trademark misfits, mistaken identities and misunderstandings: an existential "feel-good black comedy" if ever there was (or is) one.